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By Alice Pulley (Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 09:39:17 AM EST) (all tags)
I just typed out a very long diary. And then lost it somehow.

How annoying.

Stuff.


Basically, the main thrust of it is that I have admitted to myself (and a couple of friends) that I have a problem with abusing alcohol.

Its not your normal drink all the time type problem but more a drinking to oblivion type deal. I rarely drink in the week, certainly not every night and theres usually drink in my flat which I'm perfectly able to ignore.

Sometimes, I go for months drinking reasonably, sometimes I drink reasonably most of the time with the odd silly night and sometimes (eg like now, since Xmas) I can't go out without getting absolutely destroyed.

Saturday was really bad, really bad. Black out, the lot (not as in disjointed memorys, as in no memory at all). This is the first time thats happened in ages. I felt very, very ill yesterday and so cross wih myself I was almost in tears all day. I could have got into lots of trouble and its only thanks to a couple of friends that I seem to have got away with it.

So, melodramatic as this sounds to me, this is the first day of me trying to stay absolutely 100% sober. Honest. I have never said that before and certainly never admitted my drinking is problematic. I don't think I can be trusted to drink on the basis that I can sometimes control it. I don't want to be a heavy drinker. It sounds as horrible as it feels, I think. I don't want to be a sanctimonious twat either, but I think my options are limited. If I keep drinking, no  matter how good my intentions, I will seriously binge, sooner or later, often or seldom. I don't want to be like that anymore, even if its just once.

Thats it really, in fairness, I could be overreacting here - I certainly know people who have similar drinking habits to me and don't seem to have a problem with it, but I'm fed up of it. Maybe cutting down would work but then I've often cut down, it just lasts for a finite period of time. So, abstinence is the way forward. Seriously. This is going to be tricky actually. Its a bit scary how much of my social life involves alcohol and I will be the odd one out if I stick to this. Plus theres the thorny question of whether to put myself in temptations way or start spending a lot of time at home on my own...

I guess I had to know at least one person with a drinking problem, the numbers seem to work out that way. Might have been better if it wasn't me though.

< Pain Management. | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >

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Well, shit. | 39 comments (39 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
ObI'llNeverDrinkAgain by gazbo (4.00 / 3) #1 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 09:52:06 AM EST
Well, if you feel that your drinking is bad enough to warrant this, then good luck with it.  I can't really offer any advice for fairly obvious reasons.
"Engarde!" cried the larvae, huskily. - Scrymarch



obfaircomment... by Alice Pulley (2.00 / 0) #3 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 09:57:43 AM EST
...but in a word, yes, it is bad enough. Not all the time, but when I'm stressed, it gets very bad.


--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]

You're on your way. by blixco (4.00 / 6) #2 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 09:53:37 AM EST
Problem drinking doesn't just mean drinking every single day, or getting drunk every other day, or etc.  It's a problem when you can't or don't control it, when you're not in charge.  You're not overreacting, then, if you don't think you are.

You're on the right path.  Best to take control now before it gets worse.  Hit us up for support when you need it.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco


Ta. by Alice Pulley (4.00 / 1) #4 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:00:44 AM EST
I may be really over-reacting but being honest, I don't think so.

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]

social life and alcohol by Merekat (4.00 / 2) #6 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:10:29 AM EST
Yup, that gets scary for me too. So few people want to socialise outside of the pub, except maybe the cinema, but that is a different form of socialising.

[ Parent ]

Its hard. by Alice Pulley (2.00 / 0) #9 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:25:32 AM EST
Really hard. I live in a fairly crap town as well, its not like theres loads here to do. I think thats part of the reason for the drinking - boredom - but its habit forming and my will power is lacking. 

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]

Good luck by hulver (4.00 / 3) #5 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:09:38 AM EST

--
smart, pretty, sane. pick two - georgeha


Sounds like you're doing the right thing, by gpig (4.00 / 3) #7 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:24:05 AM EST
and good luck with it.
---
(,   ,') -- eep
"This option is deprecated, as it is conceptually flawed." -- man psql


Thanks. by Alice Pulley (2.00 / 0) #11 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:28:06 AM EST


--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]

Mandatory off-colour comment. by Evil Cloaked User (4.00 / 2) #8 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:25:21 AM EST
Glad I caught the show before the curtain came down then.

Also, good luck etc. etc.


--
Still, I think most of the problem is just a mental hurdle to overcome, - Cloaked User


+1, good joke. by Alice Pulley (2.00 / 0) #10 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:27:18 AM EST
Yeah, that was an example of how I can get (although in fairness, at the time, I was being pretty good and that came a but out of leftfield). Imagine that times about 2.5 for Saturday, starting at about 2pm...

Uh-oh.

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]

Dammit. by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #32 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:44:45 AM EST
I missed the vast majority of the show.

[ Parent ]

Drink suggestion for when out with friends: by lb008d (4.00 / 3) #12 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:36:27 AM EST
Tonic, cranberry juice and slice of lime over ice. Tastes better than a lot of mixed drinks.

Good luck, as blixco said, you're making the right decision.



Thanks sir. by Alice Pulley (4.00 / 1) #13 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:40:08 AM EST


--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]

Pub drinks by Merekat (4.00 / 1) #16 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:50:20 AM EST
Pubs would be better for not drinking if they stocked decent non-alcoholic beer (yes, it exists) or did smoothies and fresh juices.

[ Parent ]

Smoothies: A++ would drink again. by lb008d (4.00 / 1) #25 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:20:08 AM EST
Good idea.

AP, should he continue going to pubs with friends, will have to field far fewer questions about his lack of drinking alcohol if the drink he's holding actually looks alcoholic. I think it's a good strategy.

Or, stay home and play Scrabble.

[ Parent ]

I like scrabble actually. by Alice Pulley (4.00 / 1) #26 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:27:27 AM EST
Thats exactly the sort of thing I need to do, think of things I like to do which don't involve booze then start doing them.

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]

I have a Scrabble diary forthcoming. by ambrosen (4.00 / 3) #30 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:42:23 AM EST
With photos of my last 4 boards.

I could be considered a touch nerdy about it.

[ Parent ]

Definition of alcoholism by wiredog (4.00 / 2) #14 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:42:26 AM EST
Well, one of them, anyway. An inability to control and enjoy drinking. That is, you can do one or the other, but not both.

Might want to check out these guys.

I've been sober for over 11 years now.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)


Prepared to go to them... by Alice Pulley (2.00 / 0) #15 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:47:07 AM EST
...if I can't manage on my own/with the help of friends. Thanks.

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]

I'm in the same boat as you by mmangino (2.00 / 0) #35 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 12:21:34 PM EST
I'm sometimes okay, and sometimes I just drink way too much. About 6 months ago, I stopped drinking. I will occasionally have a glass of wine with dinner, but that's about it. It's been tough, but well worth it.

As far as AA goes, I've been to a few meetings with friends. It is a great organization. I've never felt so welcomed in my whole life as when I went with my wife (before I stopped drinking, she was required to go for medical school. They wanted all of the docs to see what it is like. )

[ Parent ]

Good luck by MrPlough (4.00 / 2) #17 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:53:51 AM EST
I hope things go well for you.
No work.


I don't give a fuck how much you drink. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #18 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:54:00 AM EST
Just take a fucking bus or taxi when you do it.

This coomenat has be n soidnsord by hurricanbe ice malt liqur


I have never got a driving license... by Alice Pulley (4.00 / 2) #19 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:55:47 AM EST
...so thats at least one thing I haven't done wrong.

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]

One tip to get you started in social situations by Rogerborg (4.00 / 7) #20 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:56:59 AM EST
Never apologise, never explain.  The subject is not open to debate, especially by drunken chumrades.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.


Yeah. by Alice Pulley (2.00 / 0) #21 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:59:49 AM EST
I know you are right, but I think I am going to lose touch with a couple of people who will simply not be able to understand.

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]

Well, it is their loss... by Metatone (4.00 / 3) #22 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:12:40 AM EST
if they can't adjust to it.

Good luck, it'll be tricky occasionally, but since it is necessary I am sure you will do it.

My own tip, beware of the J20, it's teh standard pub juice and it is nasty sour in the stomach. Much better to go with lime juice and tonic or something.

[ Parent ]

My softdrink of choice... by Alice Pulley (4.00 / 1) #23 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:14:37 AM EST
...tends to be still mineral water, don't really like drinking anything too sugary as (ironically) I don't think its very good for you and always leaves me with a bad stomach.

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

[ Parent ]

Do you drink cider? by Merekat (4.00 / 1) #27 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:29:55 AM EST
If so, a pint of apple juice with sparkling water works well enough as a non-alcoholic substitute and dilutes the acid effect on your stomach. Apfelschorle or Apfelgespritzer in for'n parts.

[ Parent ]

For me, by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #29 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:40:58 AM EST
The perfect alternative is a grapefruit juice and lemonade, served in a pint glass.

The bitterness and fizziness mean that you can actually sip at the drink. Also, IAWTMeerkat in view of the Appletise alternative.

I consider myself lucky in the heavy drinking stakes because between the parlous state of my digestive system, and the ridiculous amounts I drank in my late teens, drinking a lot (I believe you know that I am capable of doing this) actually makes me feel physically ill enough that I almost always stop.

Good luck with this endeavour. I will leave the sage advice to those who've conquered this already. You're doing the right thing.

[ Parent ]

You're better off without them by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #28 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:34:30 AM EST
Seriously, think about it. If you want to change part of your life because it's causing you problems or it's not who you want to be, your real friends will be nothing but supportive. Anyone who isn't isn't who you want to be in the foxhole with in the first place.

Of course you don't have to be an ass about it, but you're better off not hanging out with people who don't have your best interests at heart.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob
[ Parent ]

Good luck with this by georgeha (4.00 / 3) #24 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:15:32 AM EST





best of luck. by clock (4.00 / 1) #31 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:42:45 AM EST
you know yourself and you know if/when you have a problem.  i gave up heavy drinking years ago when i thought i was flirting with alcoholism.  i'm glad i did.  i still drink from time to time, but not like i did.

again, best of luck.


Clock is right. [nt] --vorheesleatherface



Worrying that you're an alcoholic by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #33 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:52:16 AM EST
but yet still drinking from time to time, is like worrying that you're a paedophile and yet still screwing little girls from time to time.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

to be exact... by clock (4.00 / 3) #34 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 11:54:45 AM EST
...my issue was with binge drinking.  which i did regularly.  now i can have a beer or two and relax.  i have the control back.  that's the real key for me.


Clock is right. [nt] --vorheesleatherface

[ Parent ]

Good luck by debacle (2.00 / 0) #36 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 03:58:34 PM EST
You're gonna need it, etc.
"I'm very responsive to certain stimuli, and pain is pretty much at the top of that list." - BadDoggie



If I can refer you to exhibit B by codemonkey uk (4.00 / 1) #37 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 04:16:10 AM EST
I'm not really the cold-Turkey type, but my little brush with blackouts certainly put things in perspective with regards to binge drinking.

--- Thad ---
developer of ... ?


I'm pretty bad as well by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #38 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 04:47:41 AM EST
I don't blackout and don't get falling over drunk either, but I can consume collosal amounts that would probably kill other people. Like you I generally keep it to weekends.

The reason I don't beat myself up about it is that I've got considerably better over the last few years. In my mid twenties the first thing I'd do when I got home from work was crack open a tinny and I'd be on the Special Brew by the end of the night. Every night.

A spell of unemployment stopped this being affordable and was a bit of a godsend when I think back, I'd probably be in a lot of trouble otherwise. Since then I've cut down loads more.

Helpful hint - a spliff will really slow down your drinking, either pop out of the pub for the odd one, or if you drink at home at the end of the night have one as soon as you get indoors. Then some more. It really slows me down and I do it consciously to keep myself in check.

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!


Shit, just seen you're actually giving up by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #39 Tue Feb 28, 2006 at 04:54:09 AM EST
Best of luck. Nothing more to say really, you don't need it to function though so hopefully it won't be too hard.

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!
[ Parent ]

Well, shit. | 39 comments (39 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

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